Now Smile!

The showerhead broke in our bathroom.  Not for any particular reason, but simply because everything in our apartment seems to break daily.  Now in the U.S., how do you solve this problem?  Well, its not really even a problem because this solution is so simple.  You go to the local hardware store, or Home Depot, or if is really late then maybe the 24 hour big box retailer, and simply purchase another shower head for about 10 dollars. Then after a brief trip home, screw it on and you're finished!  Of course, like everything else in Egypt, things are never that simple.

First we had to contact the Boawab to see if he can fix the problem  The Boawab is the Egyptian equivelent of a 'doorman,' but with a few more important duties than holding the door.  He is also similar to a property manager in that he oversees the building and its inhabitants.  But unlike the the doorman or property manager in the US, the boawab pretty much lives in lobby and is responsible for the moral reputation of the buildings inhabitants, not just the property.  Consequently, the boawab is the guy you see when you need to fix something in the apartment, when you need to get the mail, perhaps when you need to get something from the corner store (he will get it for you), and most of all, he is the guy that will raise a scene and not allow you to bring a young lady to your appartment at 10 o'clock at night.  Like I said, property and morallity. 

So we go to the boawob, and he said that he can fix the shower for 70 pounds - after we get the showerhead.  Obviously we don't require his assistance for installation, we just need the showerhead.  When asked how to acquire such a device, all he could do is shrug his shoulders and suggest we look in a different neighborhood.  So my roomate, Showali, and I set off searching for showerhead.  At the same time I needed some passport photos to process my residence visa.  So we thought we would try to do both.

You might be wondering now, then how does one find things in Cairo then, if you can't just go to the hardware store?  Its quite simple really, you wander the city, asking random people on the street where to locate something.  People who have lived the same neighborhood for their entire lives (or maybe for generations or centuries) will probably know who sells what product in their neighborhood, and where to find it.  All you have to do is ask the right combination of people.  Because if you ask the wrong person, theoretically they will send you a greater distance to some other place where they know the item can be found, given that the person does not know the immediate area very well.

We first sought passport photos, as I only had a couple hours to make this happen, and fortunately, we were able to find a place in about 40 minutes.  Now in the US, passport photos are usually done at drugstores such as CVS or Walgreens, but here, you must go to a photo studio, similar to Olan Mills.  So I'm standing within the Egyptian equivalent of glamour shots when the women running the business told me to go upstairs for my photo.  I walk into the upstairs studio and find myself surrounded by an array of theatrical props such as styrofoam 'brick' walls, sofas, and pedestools.  She comes in with her camera, and asks that I sit on the little plastic stool in the center of the room.  I sit and she snaps the photo.
But then she asked that I turn to a 45 degree angle.
 Place my hands on my knees.
 Look into the camera.
And smile.

I protested, saying that I only want a passport photo, and I even pulled out my passport, saying in arabic, "no, no, no, I need this! this here! no!"  But she wouldn't budge. 
She actually walked over, and grabbed my shoulders twisting them at an angle while saying in broken english "Now Sit!"
Not knowing what else to do, but really needing the first picture she had taken, I did as told.
"Smile!"
I sorta kinda made an effort.
"No, I say smile!" she demanded. 
Ultimately I gave something closer to a grimace, and with frustrated huff, she took the photo. 
I jumped from my seat and raced out of the room.
Downstairs, Showali asked, "what was all that noise about, I keep hearing her yell for you to 'smile,' what were you doing?"  All I could do is shrug my shoulders, widen my eyes, and shake my head.

The woman then sat down at the computer, and I waited for my pictures.  I told her that I need 6 of the passport images (always good to have extra) and she nodded her head. But then I looked at the printer, and what came out?  Certainly not my passport photos.
It was a 5 x 7 of my glamour shot.

I had no idea what was going on, but fortunately the passport photos did get printed.  They turned out rather decently as well.  As for the 5x7, I think she was dissatisfied with it, and so she gave it to me -framed- for no cost.  I think that she wanted a photo of a nonegyptian to put on the wall of the studio, to advertise the excellence of the business.  But as I looked more in pain than gloriously delighted, I guess she changed her mind.

As for the showerhead, yeah we found one.  It only took about 4 hours.  4 hours of walking in between three seperate neighborhoods in the 97 degree heat (there you go grandpa kenny), dodging the crazy traffic, and in the end, finding that we don't have a screwdriver in our apartment to install the mounting bracket.  As for the boawab, he doesn't have a screwdriver either.