I'm back in Cairo after an enjoyable escape to Jordan for a few days. It was nice to breathe some clean air and eat some better food but really I'm happier to be back to the chaos of Cairo. I really prefer to be here, it makes me feel like I'm at least on my way to accomplishing most my various personal goals. I have not entirely decided what to do for the summer, to work for someone else or to conduct my own funded research. Nor do I know what will happen in the fall, if I stay in Cairo or move to France.
I do know that I will apply for a job with USAID, but I wince at the prospect of having to live in Washington DC for a year. It wouldn't be too bad, except it was not the plan that Mallory and I made. The plan, in short, being that I would stay in Cairo 6 months longer than I had originally intended (till December) and then the two of us going to whatever African warzone that I choose. We both are fairly unemployable outside of international conflict zones, as has been the intention, and while moving to DC might work well for my own career, there is a fear that it would really do nothing to contribute to her own within the domain of International Human Rights Law. So who knows how this will work out, but we will certainly do our best.
As for now, we have purchased plane tickets to return to America from June 24th to July 15th. We are still attempting determine how to split that time between various family and obligations, but basically it provides 10 days in Detroit and 10 days elsewhere. Although she is super excited about the prospect of returning to the States, I am more or less rather stressed about it... excited, but stressed. Having spent the last several years... about 10 really, working really hard with the goal of permanently moving out of Cincinnati - yet having left and returned over and over again - I can't help but feel uncomfortable about going back. It feels almost like I've failed to really attain the life that I want, living abroad, working within the center of those situations which shape our world, and making decisions that affect the future of those situations.
But along the way, I keep in mind that I am not returning to America because of having failed. That maybe this is a glimpse of a future victory, as I return home to introduce my family and friends to a special young woman in my life, to spend time with the people that I love the most, and to stock up on prodigous amounts of Taco Bell. It is good to return to these places, and to spend time with such people, and perhaps I should think more about coming back for a little bit of time, each and every year.
So yeah, I'm coming back. I don't have many concrete plans right now beside taking Mallory to visit my grandparents in Amanda, and hopefully meeting up with lots of family around the same time. I intend to spent a lot of time with my little brother and sister, stuffing their faces with hot thai food and telling them to "man up," if they start to wince or cry. I look forward to maybe going to a movie that doesn't include routine smoke break intermissions, where the coca-cola isn't so sugary, and the popcorn is a little less stale. Perhaps meet with some friends from the Art Academy, and spend an evening walking around barefoot in the grass... a luxury for someone who's been spending their days in the Sahara.
As to how I'll manage to do everything I want, to see my dad and the Ozmans in Florida, to see some of my friends who have moved to DC, or to wander off and show Mallory some interesting regional destination that I haven't seen for a long time or never reached before - like Mammoth Caves or Old Mans Cave - I really don't know how to do it all. But I'm going to try to do as much as 10 days will allow. So I hope that those who get missed will be forgiving, that those who are willing to to make a little effort to see me will do so. If I could be everywhere at once, I would do it in a heartbeat, but for now, I can only pursue the prospect that all will go smoothly, and that we will all do the best we can.
In about one month from now, my plane will land in Detroit, and I will step out onto American soil, eager to see the people who matter the most in my life. I cant wait to spend some time with all of you, and if for some reason it is not possible to connect on this occassion, there will certainly be other oppurtunities in the near future. As I mentioned previously, it is unknown what the future holds, but I just might be moving back to the US in the spring, and if I don't, I will certainly make it a point to come around again in the near future.
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